December 31 1812: Bryon on Epistles from C.

On December 31 1812, Lord Byron writes to Lady Melbourne:
My dear Ly. M. – – I have received several epistles from C. which I have answered as seemed best at ye. time – she has at last said that she heard of the proposal but is ignorant to whom I have owned it but not added any names of any parties concerned though by this she probably knows, & it is quite as well she should. – Her letters are as usual full of contradictions & less truth (if possible) than ever, my last answer which was goodnatured enough but rather more facetious than befits her taste has produced a pettish rejoinder, she has again written to Ly. O but quietly & cunningly. 

She has sent me a Banker’s receipt for some money she swears she owes me, but which I will have nothing to do with, I have returned it, & if the money is not removed from Hoare’s & my name withdrawn, I shall most assuredly dispatch it with her compliments {one} half to the Magdalen asylum & the other to St. Luke’s as a donation & return in kind for her bonfire – if she will play the fool I rather suspect that I shall be seized with a fit of repartee which will not be very “soothing” – this I beg you will hint as to the disposal of this money, – it is of no use to try “soothing” with so detestable a disposition, & my patience stands marvellously in need of repose. – – If Mr. N.  is one of her confidants I regret it, against him I have no enmity, but through her means I was once before nearly involved in a dispute, & not improbably shall again – I do wish she would consider what the consequences may be of this perpetual system of irritation on my temper – I begin to look upon her as actually mad or it would be impossible for me to bear what I have from her already. – – We have no scenes here – & you do not know well if you suppose I covet them – I shall not entertain you with a long list of attributes, but merely state that I have not been guilty of once yawning in the eternity of two months under the same roof – a phenomenon in my history – we go on admirably in ye. country – but how Town may suit us I cannot foresee. – I hear Ly . Hd is not pleased with my present place of abode, no bad reason for liking it better myself. – – We shall have no quarrels about my visits to you, for you are a great favourite, though suspected of undue influence (which you deserve) and were it otherwise, after your firm adherence to my cause, I neither would nor could desert your banners unless dismissed by your own express request. – 2) I sent you so long a letter the other day on ye. subject of the P.s  that I shall now no further trespass on your Xmas amusements than by wishing they may be pleasantly prolonged for the present, & oftener renewed hereafter. – This is the last day of the year – I shall hope to hear from you soon in the next – & like the Spaniards hope you “may live a thousand.” – ever yrs. dr. Ly. M. 

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